Log in

No account? Create an account

Don't Eat With Your Mouth Full

Where can we live but days?

steepholm steepholm
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
A Domino Poem about Francis of Assisi
Quite a long time ago I introduced to this journal (and, as far as I am aware, to the world) a noble new verse form, in which the only rule is that every syllable has to be said twice. Considering this restriction I think an appropriate name would be "Domino Poetry", although ironically "domino" is one of many, many words that can never be included in a domino poem, consisting as it does of three consecutive dissimilar syllables.

My initial effort, “A very small amphibian is exhorted to open itself to ideas, to celebrate loudly both sibilance and fish, to run the gamut of emotions, and to travel the world", sadly appears to have sparked few (actually, no) imitators. I feel it's up to me to build up a corpus of domino poetry to inspire and delight the world, so here's another example, a little more focused in its subject matter. It dramatizes the thoughts of Francis of Assisi's disapproving father regarding his son's turn to the religious life. Think of it as a cross between Robert Browning and Bob Newhart. And a game of dominoes.

Pietro di Bernardone Complains of his Son's Behaviour

Frank? Frank, Papa here. Hear me, “meek and candid”!
Did you use to stoop? Or poor men mend,
And dandy’s ease (for forfeit fit) cease?
See sense! Ensconce concern, sir!
No? Oh, murmur lullaby, by Goo-goo! Con!
Consult sultans, answer errors, assert certain tenets… it's sad.

Sadder, Assisi Papa

Purists may complain that I was lax in a couple of places, for example in letting the voiced second syllable of "errors" double up with the unvoiced first syllable of "assert". However, purists are very welcome to do better, and add to the world's store of domino poetry.

1. One wonder there. Dare I? (ay!) say c'est tout?

2. Too great!

Gray dark arcs' sole soul now noun: today's daze.

Okay, a little Zukofskian, translated:

1: That's wonderful. If I may say so, it's the cat's meow, the top, the all.

2. Too wonderful.

It brings out how language itself can transform this dark November morning, the weak, clouded light tracking across the sky, into something dazzling.

Thus does, with the coming, already so early in the day, of night nightspore pore.

Bravo! I was hoping I might be able to tempt you aboard the good ship Domino. Fun, isn't it?

I realized reading through just now that I'd missed a vital "it's" from the penultimate line when typing this out. Fixed now, though.

Oops to me too -- it should be "to today's daze."

Yesterday I posted my stupid echo poem. Today another, "Ecce domine," influenced by this.

Edited at 2014-11-12 04:40 pm (UTC)

I'm pretty sure it was seeing your echo poem (which I forgot to mention how much I liked) that reminded me of this - and so the circle rounds itself.

Oh, lovely! When I was about 15, I loved Luis van Rooten's Mots d'heures : gousses, rames : the d'Antin manuscript, and used to write them in French class, to my teacher's bemusement.


I had that book too! The notes were the best part, iirc.

Domino and palindrome

This sounds just up my street! I shall have a go at this on my micropoetry blog http://zenrinji.wordpress.com In the meantime you might like this attempt at a syllabic palindrome poem (is there a term for this verse form too?) which I'll be reposting on November 26th on Zenrinji: Mimi shuns 'Fleck' review I wrote just then in spent daze; days spent in, then just wrote "I view reflections, Mimi ..." Syllabic palindrome, first posted June 20th 2014, in which all the syllables until "daze" then reverse, starting with "days" -- a conceit which just about works if one works at it

Re: Domino and palindrome

That's a great idea! I shall have a go, definitely.

Okay, here's a first attempt. Picture the scene. The Knave of Hearts has sneaked down to the kitchens to see if he can swipe a slice of something delicious. First he tries for a bit of cake, but the cook tells him it belongs to the King and smacks his hand away. Then he see some tarts cooling on the window sill, and goes for them instead. The dialogue goes thusly:

"Good morrow, and - oh, neat! Making the cake?"
"The King may eat, own, and--"
"Oh, more! Good."

Yes, that was fun. I'll probably try more.

Edited at 2014-11-13 02:56 pm (UTC)

(Deleted comment)
Wrapping Haiku are a very welcome addition to the domino domain, and literary references add a much-needed touch of class - thank you!


Had to have a go

A domino falling.

This kiss I buy.
I lie to woo
you, who laughed half-
mocking, knocking single
dull life, knife through
my wry heart, part
lost, frosted, ready,
to do all,
at that first terse,
pat chat.
Your poor jokes broke
through prudence,
‘Sure you’re great’
said, readily
silly really - we believe
this wishful drool.
Later, fervent, spent
you choose me.
both loath
to rue
lust's thrust.

Re: domino

I like it. That's a kind of demi-domino, with each syllable rhymed rather than repeated - but the payoff is that it makes more sense than the strict version!

domino invades brain

Now, now, Tutu, get getchen's chainsaws or Sid's id.

Re: domino invades brain


(Deleted comment)
Ooh, that's smart! I'll have to try my hand at that, though probably not in German.