b) The teen in the Onion clip says, "I don't even..." - a phrase I've only ever seen written before, and which I've always understood (correctly?) to mean "This is beyond my powers of expression to describe" rather than "I can't be bothered to finish this sentence". Does it depend on context?
c) In neither case does it have much in common with my favourite Japanese phrase - or rather non-phrase - of today, which is the way of expressing one's dislike of something by saying "[whatever] wa chotto" - i.e. "[whatever]'s a bit..." Here, the unfinished sentence suggests polite reticence and a reluctance to vocalize criticism - something to which I can certainly relate as an English person (and which further convinces me of the deep subterranean affinity between our nations), but heard the wrong way could sound quite snotty and supercilious.
d) And speaking of supercilious, is there any culture where raising one's eyebrow and looking to heaven is seen as a deeply respectful gesture? I find it easy to imagine, but have never heard of one.