Imbolc's the first first day of spring,
Fanfared on milky teats,
But soon Bride's candle gutters out -
The first of spring's defeats.
Sir Valentine, chevalier,
A quiver on his back,
Fires arrows filched from Cupid's store,
But then his string goes slack.
Brave Davy dares before the daffs
The March winds in his hair,
But plastic Paddy gets the girls -
Who said that life was fair?
Next week is Easter, when the Lord
Breaks open hellgate's locks.
This year he won't have time, alas -
We're putting forward the clocks.