I'm looking blankly at my Facebook updates and sucking at an early-morning cheroot when an insistent knocking on my front door disturbs my reverie. Conscious of little beyond the shabbiness of my dressing gown, I unlatch the door to find an exhausted, desperate but curiously youthful woman on the step.
"What the—?” I begin, but she cuts me off.
"Quick!” she cries. “I am a young mum from your area who has discovered a cheap and effective way to fight the signs of ageing. You've got to hide me! The dermatologists are after me! The dermatol—”
She gets no further before a high-powered IPL laser shoots clean through the back of her head, emerging from her T zone. She falls at my feet, her face a bloody (though wrinkle-free) pulp...
You'd want to know more, wouldn't you? It seems to me that there's a great anthology of stories to be written based on pop-up ads (a pop-up book, if you will). After all, we all know that The Da Vinci Code was based on an email Dan Brown received from a Nigerian banker circa 2001.
But who will join me in this sure-fire moneymaking scheme? And which ads will you use?