January 31st, 2012


"Henry VIII Stripped of Kingship" Shocker

In a surprise move today, disgraced wife-killer and dissolver of England's monasteries, Henry Tudor (previously known as Henry VIII) was stripped of his kingship by a shadowy committee of mandarins, Privy Councillors and former Grooms of the Stool. Mr Tudor, who oversaw the nationalization and subsequent asset-stripping of the “too big to fail” Catholic Church, was not available for comment, but is believed to be at his Thameside residence, Hampton Court, which has become notorious for his lavish “pastime with good company” lifestyle.

Despite his disgrace, Mr Tudor will be allowed to keep his pension pot, currently valued at Cornwall.