steepholm (steepholm) wrote,


I'm off to the cinema...

For centuries, the Evolutionary-Democratic-Industrial-Complex has sponsored a worldwide conspiracy to keep a SENSATIONAL SECRET under wraps - a secret they are prepared to go to any lengths to protect. Now, in a series of discoveries that will take him across five continents and through the very bowels of fifteen UNESCO world heritage sites, one man stands ready to smash that complacent edifice into smithereens of startlement. Lash Rimbaud, the illegitimate child of a liaison between a circus trapeze artist and the head of a secret order of lesbian savantes, is the only man with the art-historical knowledge, the computer savvy, the theological subtlety and the idiosyncratic piercings necessary to unlock the mystery of Hieronymus Bosch's masterwork, "The Garden of Earthly Delights". For years this painting has been considered a phantasmagoric vision, but Rimbaud realizes that it contains PROOF of the theory of Intelligent Design.

THRILL to the revelations that ---

  • The supposed assassination of JFK was actually a botched attempt on the life of JACKIE, one of the few people to know the dreadful art-historical truth. She later told her secret to Aristotle Onassis, whence it passed – by a series of arcane coincidences, betrayals and blood-oaths – back to her again, only to be eaten by a racoon.

  • The faking of the moon landings was a COVER UP, designed to disguise the incendiary truth - that the Apollo 11 astronauts really did land on the lunar surface, from which vantage point they took photographs of Earth, showing that the Taurus Mountains spell out in the plainest archaic AKKADIAN the words “’Earth’. Copyright, God.”

  • The assignation of the KEYS OF HEAVEN to the Papacy, combined with Urban II’s declaration of the Sacrament of Penance giving pre-emptive indulgences to the CRUSADERS (the so-called “sub-prime sacrament”), means that the heavenly economy has been flooded with worthless promissory notes, a situation that now allows SATAN to threaten to foreclose on Creation. Unless, that is, Lash Rimbaud – with the aid of time-travelling sidekick Hieronymus Bosch – can stop him....

This movie is accompanied by a study pack and explanatory booklet, which is to be distributed free of charge to all schools, courtesy of the Fox Network.

"The Truth is Out There And Will Set You Free"
Tags: maunderings
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