steepholm (steepholm) wrote,

It's Half an Hour to Midnight on Christmas Island

Predictions of the end of millennialism were once again confounded tonight, as thousands who had been disappointed in their expectation of the Rapture did not, despite forecasts from rationalist and sceptical groups, conclude that they had “Been very silly” and “Would never fall for this kind of nonsense again.”

“We were certain that this would be the day they finally saw sense,” confessed Professor Richard Dawkins, who wished to remain anonymous. “I realise there have been predictions before, but this time the humiliation seemed so incontrovertible and absolute.” Another sceptic, known only as Archbishop Rowan Williams, pointed out: “It’s all in the Bible, plain as plain. ‘But of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only’ (Matt. 24.36). I guess some people don’t recognize a clue stick even when it’s handed them by Jesus.“

But all hope is not lost for the growing sect of anti-eschatologists. Already, some are predicting that when the next date for the end of the world (currently scheduled for Christmas Eve) passes without incident, it will be the signal for "worldwide repentance and a turning to science and logic.” Others, jaundiced by their latest disappointment, expect that to happen only when hell freezes over.
Tags: current affairs
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