Don't Eat With Your Mouth Full

Where can we live but days?

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Where the Wide Aisles Are
My daughter has been working at Sainsbury's for a week now, but yesterday was the first day I'd actually seen her in her Sainsbury's jacket and name badge, when she popped home for some things before heading out again into the night.

It did make me wonder, though, whether she would ever be able to go into a supermarket while so attired. If she went into different store, say the Co-op, I imagine she would be driven out by staff enraged by her livery, much as crows will mob a sparrow-hawk. But if she went into a different Sainsbury's the following exchange would have a certain comic inevitability:

C [to the cashier]: Just this chewing gum, please.
Cashier: That'll be 45p.
Manager [interrupting]: You! Get to Till 13 right away! Don't you know we're understaffed today?
C: Me? But I'm only buying some chew--
Manager [hands already bunching into fists]: Don't answer back! Till 13 - hop to it!
C: But I don't even work here.... [Is bustled away to Till 13 and spends the next 7 hours weighing carrots.]


I don't know why I imagine all managers as ex-RSMs, but I do.

I'm not even sure if livery is required. I have several times been innocently browsing in a library hundreds of miles from home, only to find myself accosted by customers asking for help finding books. It's happened a good few times in book shops, too. Clearly I carry with me some intangible aura that tells people I work with books. It would be interesting to run tests to see if the same applies to supermarket workers.

I find that totally plausible. In both cases there's a certain way of rearranging things on shelves that people just stop themselves from doing.

And almost thence my nature is subdued
To what it works in, like the dyer's hand

and all that.

Of course managers would be ex-sergeants, or similar! Probably the first requirement.

Sounds about right.

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